About Xvaren
How the town got here, why it has that name, and a plain note about what this website is.
A short history
Xvaren was platted in 1887 by a party of cranberry growers, two dairy families, and a surveyor with remarkable handwriting. The surveyor labeled the plat with a single word that nobody present could read. When the paperwork reached the state, a clerk did his best, and the town has been Xvaren ever since.
The founders had intended to call it something else. No record survives of what. The surveyor, asked later, said only that he had written down what the place was called.
There are at least four accepted pronunciations. The Town Board has tabled the question every year since 1911, and the school teaches all four.
Half and half
Xvaren is one town on two kinds of ground, and Main Street runs along the seam.
The west half lies in the Driftless Area, the corner of Wisconsin the glaciers went around. It is bluff and coulee country: steep pasture, limestone outcrops, spring-fed creeks, barns built into hillsides, and dairy herds with strong legs. People there are called Bluffers.
The east half lies on the sand plain, the level bed of a glacial lake that drained a very long time ago. It is potato and cranberry country: straight roads, pine windbreaks, big sky, and soil you can dig with a spoon. People there are called Sanders.
Each side believes it got the better half. Once a year, at Divide Days, they test the matter with a tug-of-war, a hotdish contest, two footraces, and a great deal of pie, and then everyone eats supper at the same table. The score is tied. It is usually tied.
By the numbers
- Population: 1,104, steady since the 1960 census, including the years people moved away.
- County: Quillmarsh.
- Taverns: seven.
- Churches: five, four of them open.
- Stoplights: one, at Main and Second. It is green in both directions on Sunday mornings as a courtesy.
- Lake Ninemile: seven miles around, nine miles to walk.
- Winters: long. We mention it in case you were planning something.
What people do here
They milk cows, flood marshes, dig potatoes, drive plow, teach school, and go to the fish fry on Friday. They wave from the steering wheel with one finger, which here means hello. They leave bars on each other’s porches. When something unusual happens, they note it in the minutes and carry on, because the cows still need milking at five.
About this website: a work of fiction
Xvaren, Wisconsin is not a real place. This website is a work of fiction, written for entertainment. The town, Quillmarsh County, Lake Ninemile, and every person, business, church, organization, official, road, and event described on these pages are invented.
Any resemblance to real places, real organizations, or real people, living or dead, is coincidental. Nothing on this site is an actual government notice, road report, advisory, or schedule, and none of it should be relied on for any purpose other than enjoying it.